I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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