me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
