whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
