I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize