I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize