i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
