i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm too high and old for this...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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