...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
