they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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