I seem to have left my pride at pride
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
