I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
