we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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