its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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