So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
