He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
