the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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