Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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