If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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