I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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