Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
smell my finger.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
