Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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