My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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