dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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