I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
