If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize