My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
