Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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