I can text with my tongue
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
if only i could text you this smell
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
