it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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