last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
