He is an equal opportunity slut.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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