Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
