peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
