Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
