this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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