therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
