If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
