i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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