Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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