the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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