do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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