And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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