Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
