oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Randomize
