i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize