so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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