Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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