Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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