my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
