He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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