Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
