Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
