whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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