I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
