so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
