How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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