dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
did i walk over a car last night?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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