I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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