I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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