I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
