If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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