I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have post one night stand depression
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