whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
