You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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