Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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