Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

Whore.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I was being facetious

(540): View more from Virginia

Don't try to hide behind big words.

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(972): View more from Texas

It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...

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(312): View more from Illinois

I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.

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(240): View more from Maryland

FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX

(805): View more from California

You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box

(240): View more from Maryland

Maybe a straw...

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(317): View more from Indiana

I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker

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