gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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